Books

i vant to suck your blood

Hold on. How come there are books about high school vampires (the Twilight series by Stephanie Meyer) for which people make SOCK PATTERNS and no-one has TOLD ME?

Bizarrely, these books are authored by a rather “keen” Mormon author, and don’t feature drinking, drugging or… s3xxxing? Hold on a second, but you know the whole vampire thing is massively… like… about…? SINKING FANGS INTO NECKS and so on? Apparently these series are big business in the US (apparently whilst magic is evil, vampires - providing they don’t booze or s3×0r - are fine!) and set to be huge in other territories. Now I love me some teen vampire trash but when written by a woman who allegedly hasn’t seen an R-rated film “on principle” - whut?

I admit I haven’t seen an R rated film myself - I still don’t QUITE know what it means! I thought it was the stage above 18, but apparently not! From FAN FIC, I have the following assumptions about RATINGS: … read on …

THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA PART 2: PRINCE CASPIAN or WHOS’ GOT THE HORN?

The problem with any film of this second Narnian book is that — while it has strong scenes and beasts galore — the logic behind its structure is, more than anything else, Aslan Arses About (for c.1300 years). He’s not a tame lion, you know — no indeed, but he is an extremely passive-aggressive and self-satisfied one, never more than this story, and no actor can read his lines without underlining this. Nor can any director hope to expand on the memorable scenes and beasts without giving in to how pellmell pagan this story is, first to last. It isn’t Christian and it isn’t clever: and while I don’t think it especially steps on your fond memories of the original, it massively wimpily sidesteps Aslan’s tactical masterstroke in the book, where he calls to arms the Wine God (Silenus with his fat ass) and the Party God Magnus Bacchus, and they supplement their army of maenad riot grrls with a division of hott and bovvered schoolgirls… … read on …

dept of you gotta be wtfkn kiddin me YOU BIG HERBERT

i: i am rereadin THE SANTAROGA BARRIER by frank herbert ftb i am co-host of A BITE OF STARS A SLUG OF TIME AND THOU, and we need to start our homework for SERIES TWO

ii: i have probbly not reread it since i was in my teens (= the 70s what were we thinkin) and largely recall it as bein about a secretive community rooted in hallucinogenic CHEESE hurrah

iii: the cheese is called JASPERS cheese

iv: the hero is called called gilbert DASEIN and his lovely g/f is called jenny SORGE

v: the hero is named in sentence ONE, by which time i had already said “yikes hang on!” to myself: “this is a bit of a massive clunky steer surely, nameswise — when did f.herbert go so bunyan on us?”

vi: anyway the steer (as i know know but back then didn’t) is towards THIS and THIS, and therefore HIM, and also (cheese-wise) HIM

(vii: sez wiki, “The novel was loosely based on Martin Heidegger’s ideas, noticeably on his book Sein und Zeit” — bearing in mind it is, in my memory, about HALLUCINOGENIC CHEESE , i am currently enjoyin how hard the word “loosely” seems required to work; i will update all interested sluggards when i have got past page 12)

Take in your copy of the Ultimate Future Shock

Foistered on an unsuspecting public like an epidemic of ebola, an occasional writer of this parish has hit the BIG TIME. Al Ewing has written a book which has been considered to be so awesome that the UK’s Flagship Sc-Fi, Fantasy, Comics and bizarre Vinyl Statue store* Forbidden Planet is having him in to sign it. The book is called “I, Zombie” - which one assumes is a taboo busting piece of erotic fiction doing for the 21st Century what Lady Chatterley’s Lover did for the 20th (ie upset a lot of people). Clearly having your name emblazoned in the window and on a sandwich board outside such a store is the definition of having MADE IT!

The novel is described thusly: “A pulse-pounding mix of horror, private-eye story and science-fiction adventure. … read on …

A Bite of Stars, a Slug of Time, and Thou - Episode 8

Kat Stevens joins Mark Sinker and Elisha Sessions to talk about Choose Your Own Adventure books, speaking with animals, and “Build Up Logically”, an unclassifiable short story written in 1950 by Howard Schoenfeld. It’s about two men who can summon the entire universe from thin air but spend most of their time at parties. Elisha reads the story in case you haven’t.

wedding season again

it’s the time for tying up loose ends, setting projects on the shelf, letting bygones be bygones and preparing to go meet the world. school’s out, but not forever — who’d want that? the promise of this escape relies on being secretly ready for the reassuring itchiness of our return.

in the meanwhile we may just allow a blitheness to unsettle our hearts and carry us away to someplace Else. for a space. but before THAT there’s the concluding episode of the slug of time radioshow, airing this tuesday on resonance FM at 10pm but quite possibly available as a sneak peek here first, as a thank you to our listener(s).

bon voyage, bon vivants!

A Bite of Stars, a Slug of Time, and Thou - Episode 7

Ken Hollings joins Mark Sinker and Elisha Sessions to talk about “The Tactful Saboteur”, a tale of civil servants and their multi-phase sexual life cycles. Written by Frank Herbert in 1964, it’s read by Elisha at the front of the programme. Music this week is “Funiculaire” by Readymade.

Next - “Build Up Logically” by Howard Schoenfeld

A Bite of Stars, a Slug of Time, and Thou - Episode 6

Al Ewing joins Mark Sinker and Elisha Sessions to talk about “A Sound of Thunder” by Ray Bradbury, the famed 1952 story about a dinosaur safari gone wrong. Lots of other Bradbury and time travel tales get a look in, and Elisha reads the story at the front of the programme in case you haven’t.

Next - “The Tactful Saboteur” by Frank Herbert

A Bite of Stars, a Slug of Time, and Thou - Episode 5

Dave Queen joins Mark Sinker and Elisha Sessions to talk about the outrageous 1927 short story “The Red Brain”, written by Donald Wandrei when he was supposedly 16 years old. Elisha reads the story at the front of the programme and music comes courtesy of Budgie, Rush and Bad Brains.

Next - “A Sound of Thunder” by Ray Bradbury

because nothing says cosmic horror like a kitty in a flower

omg - best book cover ever designed??

i mean, aside from the fact that dashiell hammett never wrote a story called “the red brain”. a little misleading, that! anyhow, tonight’s episode of slugs and stars features the 1927 title story - which was already WELL retro by the time this book came out (1965)

via this excellent, high quality collection of old paperback covers: http://www.flickr.com/photos/calenture/